Socks and rocks — looking back on the first quarter of 2024
In her latest blog, Haylis Smith reflects on a hugely busy first three months of the year, and tells us why socks and rocks really do matter.
Before I start this blog, I want to say that I wish more than anything my job wasn’t needed.
I wish we had everything necessary in place that meant that people did not feel suicidal or that when they did, they felt ok to seek help and that help was always there at the right time in the right way for them.
Sadly, this isn’t the case, so for as long as I can, I’m going to continue to try to improve things, so that hopefully one day in the future I and everyone else who works in or volunteers their time to help prevent suicide won’t be needed.
I have often been asked when I tell people what I do for work if it is not ‘depressing’ to be working in suicide prevention. I can understand from the outside it must look like it could be, but I am fortunate to be surrounded by so many people all determined to make things better that it rarely feels ‘depressing’.
Over the last few months, I have been really reminded of this as we have set out through Suicide Prevention Scotland, to bring together individuals and organisations who all want to make a difference, who all want to help reduce suicide.
In January we held an event for third sector and charitable organisations to come together. Many of these organisations have never had the chance to be in the same room as others who are doing similar work.
They are often started when a community or family have been impacted by suicide and they want to make a difference, to help improve things for people who experience suicidal thoughts, people who care for them or people who have been bereaved by suicide.
Despite the weather’s best efforts with storms and train cancellations, over 70 people attended.
There was an energy in the room as we heard from The Canmore Trust, Andy’s Man Club and Man On! Inverclyde about their experiences of working in suicide prevention. I don’t think anyone who was there will ever forget hearing about ‘the fire in the belly’ which drove the work.
It set us up for a day of sharing learning and experiences which will help shape the work we do in the coming months and years. It was brilliant being in a room with so many dedicated people, watching connections being made, contact details being shared and visits being planned.
It really brought to life the power of connection and a strong sense of community was evident with an agreement that we have to work together to make the difference.
February saw a session held with our national delivery partners, members of the National Suicide Prevention Advisory Group (NSPAG) and members of our Lived and Living Experience Panel coming together to plan for the next two years of delivery.
The Strategic Outcome Leads from Samaritans, SAMH, Penumbra Mental Health, Change Mental Health and Public Health Scotland led those who were there through a ‘conversation café’ style session. We explored what we’ve delivered to date, where we want to head to over the coming two years and what we need to do that. All the information gathered will help to shape our next delivery plan.
There were also sessions held with the Youth Advisory Group and the Participation Network who will help to shape not just the work targeting children and young people but also across the wider action plan too.
Many of those involved in these discussions, were also involved in another session held with Matter of Focus, which will ensure we measure and evaluate what we are delivering.
This is important so we can demonstrate if and how the actions we are delivering on the ground are having the impact we want and are contributing to achieving the outcomes we have set out in the strategy — and making the difference to people affected by suicide.
At the start of March we held two days of events in Glasgow.
Day one saw the local suicide prevention leads coming together in person for the first time since 2020. It was a space for them to connect with each other, provide some peer support and hear about some of the innovated and effective work happening in local areas across Scotland.
Being a local suicide prevention lead can feel isolating at times, they are often the only people in their areas co-ordinating work on suicide prevention and many commented on the day about the importance of having sessions like this where they can come together with other people who understand what they do and how important their work is to them.
Day two saw the biggest event so far with 250 people from different sectors, organisations and individuals, gathered together.
I know that many people were disappointed not to secure a space at this event - we had no idea there would be such an interest in attending.
We had to close registration after a few days when 350 people had registered and we only had space for 250, and some really difficult decision had to be made, which I know left some people without a place who really wanted to be there.
It is the first big event of this type since we published Creating Hope Together, we have learned many things from this including that we need a bigger space in the future and that we need to be really clear with the information we send out.
That said, it was a fantastic day where we had two key note speakers, including the last (but not final!) lecture from Professor Steve Platt who retired at the end of March and Professor Amy Chandler who challenged us to think differently about suicide prevention.
There were also many workshops led by some brilliant people working across different sectors and topic areas, a panel discussion which included insight from the Lived and Living Experience Panel and the Youth Advisory Group and ‘conversation café’ sessions looking at the different inequalities which contribute to suicide risk.
It was also great to have Maree Todd, Minister for Social Care, Mental wellbeing & Sport and Cllr Paul Kelly Health and Social Care Spokesperson for COSLA join us.
I felt a bit like a matchmaker after spending much of the day introducing different people to each other where it felt there were opportunities to collaborate or learn.
It is in sharing our work with each other that we can develop ideas and sow the seeds which will help to reduce suicide. The feedback from this event was incredibly positive — a full report will be published soon! — and really demonstrated how valuable it is to have such a mix of people together, learning from each other and building connections.
I cannot thank the people who organised and helped at the events enough, their hard work really paid off.
The final event was held at the end of March with Livingworks trainers. Again, it has been some time since there was an opportunity to come together in person and share our experiences of delivering these training programmes.
It is 20 years this year since ASIST was first delivered in Scotland. This session in March aimed to help connect trainers with each other and also help to develop their skills especially around the standard procedures which help to ensure we provide the knowledge and skills people need to intervene when someone is thinking about suicide.
I love my whole job, I love the opportunities I have to try to make things better for people affected by suicide, I love being able to meet so many passionate people who inspire me every day.
Delivering ASIST training holds something special for me. It is no longer something I do as part of my job, but I do it now in my spare time and holidays.
I am really passionate about this for two main reasons, firstly because it helps me really connect with people on the ground across Scotland, who are supporting people at risk of suicide. I hear their experiences and they help me to do my job better.
And secondly, because I know this training makes a difference. I know people who have attended this training and who have been confident to use the skills they have learned to ask someone about suicide and to help keep them safe.
Being in the room with other trainers also reminded me of the importance of connection and understanding.
In October this year, it will be 20 years since I attended my training for trainers (T4T) for ASIST, and over that period I have made some life long friends. The event in March helped me connect with them and some new faces, people who completed their T4T last year.
We are like a family, new people are welcomed and join as if they have always been there. During the session we painted stones to symbolise our ‘rocks’, the things that keep us going when we are doing this work.
I was lucky enough to sit beside a new face in the room, a safeTALK trainer who suggested we swap rocks. It was such a lovely thing to do and I loved the image he had painted of a beach with the word gratitude.
I got to spend the evening and night with one of the wonderful ASIST friends I have. She is also one of my rocks, someone who has worked in suicide prevention for as long as me, who has shared the journey in Scotland for as long as I have and who also happens to be the knitter of some wonderful socks.
She gifted me my third pair on this day and I can’t tell you how much they all mean to me. Every time I wear a pair they make me smile, they remind me that even when the work is hard and I feel like we aren’t making the difference we need to make, there are so many wonderful people out there really trying.
The last couple of months have been busy. There has been a lot going on which all feels like progress is being made.
There are often parallels between the work I am leading and the model we use for ASIST. First we need to connect and it is these connections which help to build the foundations for what comes next. Secondly, we need to take the time to understand, to look at things from another person’s perspective to hear their story and to see glimmers of hope and opportunities. Finally, we assist, we help to put in place a plan which will help to create safety, one which involves the things and people who can help.
The last few months have reminded me of this, we are building the connections and the foundations which will support change.
We have heard from many different people and organisations who are sharing their stories and their experiences to help improve how we work and we have also spent time putting in place plans to drive forward the work which includes new people and organisations.
Suicide prevention needs us all to work together to do this and I am very grateful for everyone who is helping to create hope in Scotland.
So, I’ll finish with this, to symbolise the benefit of looking at things from a different perspective. I was so grateful to swap rocks with my safeTALK friend, I took it at face value, a lovely picture of gratitude, but, what prompted me to write this was going into my bag and finding the stone again.
I was having a moment when I was asking myself if we were doing enough, if I was doing enough. When I took the stone out my bag it was bottom side up and I saw what else was his rock and it made me smile and relax so I couldn’t agree more, a smile really does go a long way.
If you or someone you know is struggling with their mental health or feeling suicidal, please don’t hesitate to ask for help by contacting your GP, NHS24 on 111, Samaritans on 116 123 or Breathing Space on 0800 83 85 87.
